


Chances

by LeaPaul



Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:53:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28770384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeaPaul/pseuds/LeaPaul
Summary: Jane had been to Quantico for almost a year. She hadn't seen her family or friends in a long time.The day she goes back to Boston doesn't turn out how she hoped it would.I can‘t tell how many chapters I‘m going to write, let‘s find out where this story is going to take us ....Enjoy
Comments: 9
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

Jane wasn’t quite sure whether this was the right decision but she knew  
if she wasn’t going home to Boston over the weekend she would drive herself crazy.  
Life at Quantico hadn’t really been what she had expected it to be.  
Her colleagues were ok, they even went out a few times, but it was nothing  
compared to Boston and Maura of course.  
She wasn’t sure if her best friend, could she still call her that, she wondered,  
would really like to see her, but she missed her so badly.  
Jane had been working for the FBI for almost a year now.  
At the beginning they called each other, sent text messages and pictures,  
but after a while, their calls started to happen just every once in a while.  
And then Jane had to work. It was her first undercover job and to be honest, she hated it.  
She couldn’t tell anyone where she had been or what she had been doing.  
Jane wasn’t allowed to call anyone before she had left , so neither her family,  
nor Maura knew where she was.  
Jane had thought about sending a message after she came back, but it felt weird,  
just saying “hello” after three months of zero contact.

“Maura darling, I’m home”, he said after closing the door.  
“Oh, hi. I wasn’t expecting you so early, dinner’s not completely ready.”, Maura said.  
“What? Well, alright, that’s for today, because I didn’t tell you that I’d be home earlier,  
so I guess this one time it’ll be ok.”, he glanced at her.

Maura swallowed hard. She just couldn’t help herself. This was not how she wanted her  
life to be, this was not the person she wanted to spend her life with, but the person  
she needed more than anything, had been gone for months now.  
Sometimes Maura wondered if Jane still thought about her, but she wasn’t quite sure.  
Jane hadn’t called or texted for months now and this was just not the Jane she knew.  
Maybe she had enough of her friendship, maybe she had found a new best friend in Quantico.  
Maura missed Jane, more than anything. She couldn’t really tell why she had let him  
move in with her, why he was able to treat her the way he was treating her.  
He just did and Maura didn’t do anything about it. 

“Maura, honey. I’m sorry to interrupt, but…”, Angela said, while entering the kitchen.  
“Maura? Are you there?”  
“I’m sorry Angela, I was just… is there anything I could help you with?”, Maura asked.  
“What’s wrong honey? Are you ok?”, Angela looked at her with concern.  
“Yes, … I was just thinking about …”, Maura couldn’t finish the sentence, because she  
would have to lie and everyone knew that she couldn’t.  
“Maura honey, call her. This is not going to work. Tell her she has to come back.”,  
Angela said, holding her hand.  
“You know that I can’t do that. I can’t tell her anything Angela. She left and she’s  
probably got a new best friend there.”, Maura sighed.  
“I know my daughter and I know how hard she makes it for everyone else to like her.  
You are the only one who can bring her home.”  
Maura had to fight her tears. She knew that Angela was right, but she was too afraid,  
that Jane was loving her new life in Quantico so much that she wouldn’t want to come back. 

“Didn’t you tell me that food wasn’t ready, because I was home too early?! Now that  
I am home, I want you to finish cooking.”, he glanced at her.

Angela didn’t like him, she never had. When Jane left, Angela was worried how their  
relationship would be like. She always knew that her daughter had feelings for Maura  
and that she was too afraid to tell her. She even thought that she knew about Maura’s  
feelings as well, but after he had moved in, she wasn’t so sure anymore.

“I’m sorry Ian. I wanted to borrow something from Maura, that’s why. Don’t be so hard on her.”,  
Angela said while leaving.

“What the hell?! Why is this woman still here? I told you that I don’t want her to be here any longer.”,  
he looked at Maura.  
“It is not up to you to decide who lives in my guest house. She is going to stay there, no matter  
if you like that or not.”  
“What? Say that again!”, he moved closer and grabbed her arm.  
“You’re hurting me, Ian. There’s no need for that.”, Maura said.  
“Well, that is not up to you to decide.”, he said pushing her away.

“Frankie? I’m sorry for calling you so late, have you heard from your sister recently?”, Angela asked.  
“Hi ma, no I’m sorry. Why? What happened?”, Frankie asked with concern in his voice.  
“I don’t know…”, Angela sighed. “It’s just … I can’t stand him, he’s treating Maura like shit and  
I want Jane to know, because she has to come back.”  
“What happened ma? Did he hurt her??”, Franke didn’t like Ian at all.  
“I don’t know if he did. He just talks to her in a way that I don’t like. Jane has to come back,  
she has to get Maura back.”  
“You know ma, we’ve had that conversation before. Jane isn’t going to come back any time  
soon and I’m afraid that she is not going to talk about her feelings. You know her.”  
“Yes, I know her and I know that she loves Maura and this has to stop Frankie.”  
“I know ma, I’m sorry, but I doubt that we’re going to see her within the next few weeks.  
But I can visit Maura, see if he’s making some troubles, if you want me to.”  
“That’d be great. Say hello to Nina. Goodnight Frankie.”  
“Night ma.”

“Are you ok?”, Nina looked at him.  
“I don’t know. Ma’s worried about Maura. Ian’s giving her a hard time and ma’s  
worried that he’s going to hurt her. “, he said.  
“Do you think he is going to hurt her? I mean, Maura wouldn’t let that happen, would she?”,  
Nina asked.  
“I’m not so sure. You know, my sister and Maura… they’re too stubborn to admit that they  
are made for each other and we haven’t heard from Jane in a very long time and  
I don’t know if they are still friends or if they could ever be more than that.  
All I know is that I want to tell Jane about it, but I can’t.”, he sighed.  
“She’ll call Frankie, I know that. She’s working, is all.”, Nina kissed his cheek.  
“Yeah, you’re right.”, he smiled.

The past few months had been the worst. Jane knew that everyone was wondering  
why she hadn’t called at all. She wanted to, right after the job was done, but it was too hard.  
She would have cried and that would have caused the others to worry and Jane didn’t want them to worry.  
It had been almost 9 months since they had last seen them, except the few times Jane  
and Maura had been on Facetime, but after that, she hadn’t seen anyone.  
Everything just looked the same. Boston had always been her home and now that she  
was living somewhere else, she missed the city so much. She missed the people,  
the places she’d been to, the places …they had been to.  
Maura was always there. She had never met another person who meant that much to her,  
she had never felt so much for someone else than Maura.  
It was now or never, she thought.

There she was, standing on the doorway, feeling her heart beating so fast, that she  
thought she had been running a hundred miles.  
She gathered all her courage and knocked at the door.  
When the door was opened, Jane couldn’t believe her eyes, there she was.

“Jane?”  
“Hi Maur. Happy Birthday.”, Jane smiled.  
“What? I … is it ….what are you doing here?”, Maura couldn’t believe it.  
“I … I’m sorry, I know that it is kind of an in hit and run style, but I’ve ….”,  
Jane couldn’t finish the sentence.  
“What are you doing here? We didn’t invite you.”, Ian hissed.  
“Ian? What…”, she looked at Maura. Jane could see that Maura wasn’t fine at all,  
she could see that Maura looked away.  
“I didn’t know I needed an invitation to visit Maura.”, Jane said annoyed.  
“Well, now you know. We don’t want you to come here uninvited.”, he said.  
“Maura, are you coming? Your guests are waiting.”, Jane didn’t like the way he looked at her,  
nor did she like the way he was treating her.  
“Just give me a second, I’ll be there…”  
“Maur? What the hell?”  
“I’m sorry Jane… I didn’t know you were coming.”  
“Well, that’s what a surprise is about Maur.”  
“We can’t talk here. Do you still have the same number? Can I call you later?”, she asked.  
“Sure. What’s going on here Maur?”  
“I … not now”, Maura closed her eyes.  
“Alright… by the way, these are for you…”, Jane handed her the flowers she was  
holding in her hand before she turned away from her.

Maura inhaled the sense of the flowers and looked at Jane.  
She had not expected her to show up after all this time. But now that she was here,  
Maura wanted her to stay, she didn’t want Jane to ever leave her again.  
But she couldn’t tell her. Ian was inside, there were their guests, none of them invited by her.  
She took her phone out of her pocket and started typing.


	2. Chapter 2

Angela was feeling so much right now and none of those feelings were happy ones.   
She hated that guy and she couldn’t understand why Maura let him in again.  
It was obvious that he wasn’t the one Maura wanted to spend her life with,   
but she couldn’t do anything about it.  
Still lost in thoughts, she heard a knock at her door.

“Janie? Is it really you? Or am I just dreaming?”  
“No, ma.. it’s me. Can I come in?”, Jane asked.  
“Sure, you don’t have to ask. How come I didn’t know you were coming?”  
“I didn’t know myself. I thought it would be nice to surprise her, but…”, Jane sighed.  
“Oh, you’ve seen him.”, Angela hugged her daughter. “Come, sit with me.”  
“Talk to me Janie. What are your thoughts?”  
“I don’t know ma, this is not how I want it to be. I knew that she wasn’t going   
to wait for me to come back but why him?! Have you seen how badly he’s   
treating her?”, Jane closed her eyes.  
“I know Janie … we all hate the fact that he’s here. Talk to her, tell her what   
you should have told her a long time ago.”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“Janie … we all know how much you love her and I can tell, you’re not alone in this.”  
“She’s my best friend, of course I love her.”  
“Janie… who are you trying to fool here? Tell her… now or it’s going to be too late!”  
“I..”, Jane couldn’t say anything.

How did her mother know if she had just found out a while ago?   
Those feelings she was having for Maura didn’t appear out of the blue,   
they weren’t just here from one second to the other. They’ve grown over the years.   
All these months they’d spend apart now, Jane knew that something, or better someone,   
was missing. This was not what she wanted. Yes, she wanted to work for the FBI, but   
she still wanted her old life in Boston. She wanted to see the people she loved, spend  
time with her brothers and their families, go to the Dirty Robber.  
It wasn’t that easy. Maura had Ian and Jane couldn’t just say all the things she wanted to say,  
not now and not like this.  
Still thinking about what she wanted to do, her mobile vibrated.

“Jane, this is not how I wanted our reunion to be. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you.   
I’m sorry that you had to find out about Ian like this. He’s not that bad, work’s giving him a   
hard time. Can we talk? Somewhere else maybe? How about we ask your mother if we could  
talk at her place. Ian won’t know. Xxx, Maura”

Jane was staring at her phone. Why would they meet secretly? This was not the Maura she knew.  
Why was she behaving like that? Ian must be giving her a hard time. She didn’t hesitate and answered.

“You don’t have to apologize. I showed up without telling you. I’m sorry I didn’t call or write for  
so long, had to work. I’d love to talk. Ma’s going out tonight, I’m at her place now, because  
I’ve got nowhere else to go. Tommy and TJ aren’t home, so I’m staying here. Jane”

“So, what are you going to do about it?” , her mother asked.  
“She just texted me and she’s coming over and we’ll talk. If that’s ok,   
I mean you weren’t going to leave that soon….”  
“No, that’s fine. He can pick me up at the Robber. Talk to her Janie, tell her everything!!  
Trust me, she won’t push you away.”, Angela kissed her daughter’s forehead before she left the house.

Jane walked around the living room, nervous as if she was 14 again, waiting for her first  
date to come and get her. What was she going to say, was she going to hug her?   
Oh, how she hated feeling like that. Maura wasn’t the one to start the conversation easily   
and Jane was afraid that her friend, she still wanted her to be her friend, would storm out  
and never talk to her again.   
It didn’t take long until Jane heard a knock at the door. Her stomach made noises,   
she felt somethings she couldn’t explain and then she opened the door.

“I know I’ve said that before, but why do you always look like you’re about to have a photo shooting?!”, Jane smiled.  
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know there was going to be a dress code.”, Maura looked at her.  
“Oh, sarcasm, I like it… come in.”

Maura smiled at her friend, while walking towards the couch.  
The two women sat down and looked at each other. It was kind of weird, they’ve known  
each other for so long but neither of them knew what to do so they started talking at  
the same time. They couldn’t help but laugh.

“Jane, … I’m so sorry.”  
“Why? What should you be sorry for?”  
“Well, … I know it’s been a long time and that I’m not … I don’t have to … I mean,….  
why is it so hard?! You know me better than anyone else and still this is so hard.”, Maura closed her eyes.  
“Listen, Maur. ….”  
Maura’s entire body started shaking, no one calls her “Maur”, except Jane and every  
time she hears her say her name like that her body shivers.  
“Are you alright?”, Jane looked at her with concern.  
“Yes, … I am”, she smiled at her.  
“Ok, here’s the thing. I know I’ve been an ass…”  
“Jane, language….”  
“Oh come on Maur, not now. Just let me explain.”  
“Right, sorry.”  
“The last months were the worst of my life. I wasn’t able to call ma, or my brothers and  
I wasn’t able to call you. I knew that if I was going to work for the FBI, that sooner or later,  
I was going to work undercover, but the moment they told me I had to, I started regretting my choice.  
I knew that I couldn’t tell you, because you’d be in danger and I couldn’t risk that. I’m so sorry for  
hurting you Maur, I didn’t mean to.”, Jane looked at the floor.  
“Jane… look at me. You don’t have to be sorry for doing your job. We’ve been there, remember?  
I just… I thought you weren’t coming back. I thought, your life there was better than the one you had here and …”  
“Why him Maur?”

“I ….”  
“Sorry, if this is too personal, but …”  
“No, it isn’t. The thing is, that I don’t have an answer to that question.”  
“So, he showed up and you let him in, that’s it?”  
“Well, pretty much, yes.”  
“Oh, Maur…”, she sat closer to her friend, slowly touching her hand.

The moment their eyes met, Maura knew that she had made the biggest mistake.   
She just couldn’t go over there and tell him to leave, he wouldn’t just leave her like that.  
Jane felt the same, touching her friends hand meant so much for her.

“Maur?”  
“Yes….”, she swallowed.  
“Go away with me….”  
“What?”  
“You’ve heard me … I’d like to take you on a short trip over the weekend. Just say yes…”  
“Jane, … I can’t.”, Maura sighed.  
“Yes, you can. You don’t have to tell anyone. We’ll tell them you have to work.”  
“He’s not going to believe me….”  
“And, you care about that?”, Jane wasn’t sure why Maura was behaving like that, but she didn’t like it.  
“I …have to go Jane…”  
“What? We haven’t really talked at all… we, Maur … we haven’t seen each other for such a long   
time and now you’re going to leave? Why? What did I do?”, Jane felt tears rising.  
“You didn’t do anything Jane, but I’m afraid if I am going to stay here longer,   
I’m going to be the one who is going to do or say something.”, Maura closed her eyes.  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about! Please, … please stay.”, Jane felt tears running down her cheek.  
“Jane… why are you crying?”, Maura stopped and looked at her.  
“I’ve missed you so much Maur … the moment you opened the door, my heart skipped a beat.  
I’m such an idiot, I should have told you earlier and now that … now I can’t tell you anymore… and I hate that…”  
“You can tell me anything Jane, you know that.”, she kissed her cheek.  
“No, Maur … I can’t tell you THIS.”, Jane turned away.

It was now or never, Maura thought. After all these years, she still had difficulties when it came  
to relationships and how those things worked, but she knew that she was feeling something   
and she knew that she only had those feelings for Jane. No one had ever touched her like that,   
no one had ever looked at her like that and no one had treated her the way Jane had been treating   
her for the last ten years.

“Jane…”, she stepped closer. “Do you really want to go away with me?”  
Jane turned around and wiped away the tears. “I’d love to, yes.”  
“Alright. I’ll be ready tomorrow at eleven. Meet me at the Robber.”, Maura said.  
“Are you sure? What are you going to say?”  
“That I have to work and that I need to do something that I should have done a long time ago.”, Maura said, smiling.

Jane’s heart was beating faster the moment Maura closed the gap between them.  
They were so close that Jane could feel Maura’s breath.

“Maur,….”  
“Don’t…”, Maura said.

A second before Maura’s lips could touch Jane’s, Maura’s phone rang.

“I’m sorry, I have to go. See you tomorrow.”, Maura said before leaving.

There she was, Jane Rizzoli, her heart beating heavily and her stomach hosting butterflies.


	3. Chapter 3

Jane had always wanted to stay in Boston, she had never thought about living  
anywhere else. And then, she met Agent Davis. He offered her to work for the  
FBI and that was a once in a lifetime chance and Jane could just not accept it.   
She had thought about that for a long time, before she talked to her family,   
before she talked to Maura. She knew that this would change everything, she  
knew that her life was going to be more dangerous and she knew that she   
wasn’t going to see her family on a regularly basis.   
Maura had been her best friends for almost ten years now and she couldn’t   
imagine her life without her in it. There was something about this woman Jane  
wasn’t able to describe.  
She’d had best friends before, but no relationship could be compared to this one.   
Maura was special, Maura was important and to be honest, Maura was her person.  
The day on which Jane was heading to Quantico came closer. She didn’t really want   
to leave Boston and everyone behind, she wanted to work there but she wanted to   
stay with all the people she loved.  
Maura had decided to throw a little farewell party for her. Jane hated surprise   
parties, but she loved this one. Everyone was there, her ma, Frankie and Nina,   
Tommy and TJ, Vince and Kiki, and Maura of course.  
They were having a blast, the best food ever, prepared by Angela of course.  
Shortly before midnight, everyone left, except Jane, she just couldn’t. 

“Jane? Are you alright?”, Maura asked.  
“I … I don’t know Maur.”, Jane sighed.  
“Come, sit with me. Tell me what’s bothering you.”  
“I don’t know if it’s really bothering me, I just don’t know if this was the right decision.”  
“What do you mean?”, Maura wasn’t good at guessing and she still had difficulties  
finding out if Jane was joking or not.  
“I don’t know if leaving everything behind is really what I want. I want to work for  
them, I really do, but if that means I won’t be seeing you for so long, I don’t know…”,  
Jane had to fight the tears.  
“Jane, look at me. We’re going to do this together. Yes, there’ll be hard times too,   
we can call each other, I can come visit if you want me to.”, Maura smiled at her friend.  
“Maur, ….”

Their eyes met and both women could feel the tension between them.   
Neither Maura nor Jane could say anything at all, they just looked at each other,   
holding hands. Maura realized how perfectly Jane’s hand fit into hers and she slowly caressed Jane’s hand.

Jane on the other hand couldn’t breathe. She didn’t want to leave, she wanted   
to sit on this couch for the rest of her life, having Maura close to her. 

“Jane….”, Maura moved closer. “I’m going to miss you too, but we’ll find a way.”  
“Yeah, we will…”, Jane sighed and closed her eyes.  
Jane could feel how close Maura was now and she panicked. She knew is she was  
going to stay there, something was going to happen. Not, that she didn’t want  
it to happen, she kind of wanted to, but not like this, not on the day before she had to leave.

“I have to go now Maur. I’ll call you when I’m there. Thank you for the party.”,   
Jane said, quickly getting up.  
“You’re welcome Jane. Take care, call me when you’re there.”, Maura sighed as   
she watched Jane walking out of the door.

It wasn’t how she wanted it to be. She didn’t really plan on doing anything, why would she.  
She wasn’t even sure if Jane was feeling the same, but after looking into her eyes for so long,  
Maura realized that there was something between them. Jane wasn’t the one to make the   
first step, that she knew. Although Jane always acted tough and although she always knew   
what to say and do, when it came to talking about feelings and even sex, Jane shut herself   
down. No words left her mouth then, she got nervous, her cheeks blushed and she stopped   
moving. Maura didn’t want to risk anything that night, but boy, she wanted to kiss Jane so   
badly and for a moment she thought it was going to happen.  
She even thought about texting her, telling her, how she felt and how badly she wanted   
them to spend the night together, but she couldn’t do that. That would push Jane further  
away and Maura couldn’t risk that.

Jane’s first night in Quantico was one where she didn’t get a lot of sleep.   
She wasn’t sure how to feel about Maura. Well, she knew that she was feeling   
something for her friend, but the tension between them the night before was horrible.   
Not in a bad way, but Jane could feel that something was going to happen.   
Not, that she didn’t want anything to happen, but she didn’t know how that was going  
to chance their relationship, if she was ready for her relationship to change.   
Why was it so hard? Why couldn’t she allow herself to be happy? She knew that Maura   
was going to make her happy, there was no doubt about that. But would she make Maura happy?  
Well, they’d been friends for so long and she knew that Maura had some standards and that   
her background was different, but would Jane be enough for her?

The first few weeks went by quickly. They texted on a regularly basis, they called  
each other every day. Maura actually wanted to visit Jane, but Jane was a coward  
and told her that she had to work, so Maura didn’t come. Jane hated herself for   
lying to Maura, but what else could she have said?  
“Yeah Maur, come here so we can fuck?”, no, that was not how Jane wanted it to be.  
After a few months, Jane had her first real job. She had to go undercover and she   
knew that she couldn’t tell anyone.  
If she did her family and friends would be in danger, because they weren’t allowed to tell anyone.   
Little did she know, that Maura thought Jane didn’t want to talk to her anymore.

Maura had been alone for most of her life, but since she knew Jane, she hadn’t been  
alone at all. She enjoyed all the Saturday meetings with the Rizzoli’s, she enjoyed every   
vacation they’d been on together. There was not a single memory she wanted to erase.  
She couldn’t tell when she realized that she was feeling something for Jane.   
Those feelings had probably grown over the last years. They’ve been through   
a lot together, threats, murder, kidnapping, …everything.  
But now, things were different. Maura thought that Jane stopped calling her   
because she had crossed some boundaries. She wanted to kiss her that night,   
yes, more than anything, but she didn’t. Maura was sure that Jane didn’t feel   
the same for her and that that was the reason she had left so quickly.  
Little did she know that she couldn’t be more wrong than that.  
Time went by and Maura wasn’t herself anymore. She wasn’t happy at all, her   
smile had gone and no one could help her, because the only person who could  
make her smile again wasn’t here anymore.

Angela was still living with Maura, she actually wanted to move into Jane’s house with   
Tommy and TJ, but she didn’t, because she thought Maura needed her and to be honest,  
Angela needed Maura too.  
They’d spend some nights together, but Angela could sense that Maura wasn’t enjoying it.   
She didn’t speak much and when she did, it was nothing Angela wanted to talk about.  
She tried to call her daughter, wanted to know what had happened the night she had left,   
but Jane didn’t pick up her phone.

It wasn’t long after her last dinner together, when Angela entered Maura’s house to find  
her sitting next to a man.

“Oh, I’m sorry Maura, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”, Angela said, glancing at the man.  
“Don’t worry Angela. Do you remember Ian? He came for a visit.”, Maura said.  
“Hi.”, he said and faked a smile.  
“Hello. Sorry Maura, I was just going to borrow something, I’m off, enjoy your evening.”

That was not good, she thought to herself. Not that she could do anything about it.   
Jane was miles away and Angela knew that Jane wasn’t going to come back anytime   
soon and she knew that if she came back, she wasn’t going to tell Maura how she was   
feeling. Oh, how she hated those romantic things. Why are they always so difficult? , she said to herself.

“So, her mother still lives here? Ain’t that a bit weird?”, Ian said.  
“Well, she pays rent and whenever I have to work late, she takes care of Bass and my house.   
No, I don’t think it is weird Ian.”, Maura said emotionless.  
“Alright. Listen, I was wondering,…”, he said looking at her.  
“Ian? Why are you here? And don’t lie to me again…”  
“Well, I have some work to do here and I thought I’d stop by and say hello.”  
“That’s all?”  
“Mostly, yes.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Maura asked.

She couldn’t say anything else, because he leaned in and kissed her.

“I’ve missed you Maura and I thought you might give me another chance.”, he leaned in  
for another kiss.

Maura didn’t really feel much, but she didn’t want to be alone. She knew that she couldn’t  
blame Jane for anything at all, it was all her fault. If she hadn’t thought about kissing her  
best friend, Jane wouldn’t have left that quickly and Jane would still be talking to her.   
Maura Isles was a very intelligent person, but she didn’t consider that Jane’s silence had   
nothing to do with her, that it was because of Jane’s job.

“I ….”, Maura sighed. “Take me to the bedroom.”  
“What?”  
“You’ve heard me. Take me to the bedroom.”, Maura said, closing her eyes.

It wasn’t good at all, it was sex, yes, but Ian just concentrated on the things he liked,   
he didn’t really pay attention to Maura’s needs at all.  
Maura didn’t know why he let him in, why he was able to touch her.   
She told herself that she didn’t want to be alone and she somehow punished   
herself for being so stupid. She was still off the opinion that she had ruined her  
friendship with Jane and she felt like as if she needed punishment.  
Maura was broken and it didn’t help that Ian started treating her like shit.   
He was jealous, every time Maura left for work, he controlled every step she made   
and he even tried to talk Angela out of living with them.  
It was not how Maura wanted her life to be, but she was too sad to change anything about it.

Until the day Jane had showed up. Maura couldn’t believe her eyes, but there she was.   
Beautiful as usual. Maura had to tell herself that she had to stop looking at her friend  
like that. But she felt something again, the moment they were talking about spending   
a weekend together, the moment they almost kissed and the moment she left Jane behind.   
She had told Jane to pick her up at the Dirty Robber not knowing if she could actually go.

“What were you doing over there for so long Maura? You’re acting strangely and  
I don’t like that! Haven’t I told you a hundred times, that I don’t want you anywhere  
near that Rizzoli’s?! Why can’t you listen to me for once?”, he said.

Maura could feel how angry he was and she knew what was going to happen next,  
but she couldn’t move at all. He had been hurting her for so long. He had started   
saying things that were rude and mean and one night, Maura had been home later   
than him because of work, he had grabbed her arm heavily that she had some   
bruises a few days later.  
He even hit her back that hard that you could see his fingers. It was not how she  
wanted to be treated and Maura knew better, but she couldn’t help herself, she was trapped.

Ian stepped closer and grabbed her arm. He pressed his fingers tighter and Maura   
could feel how her skin got hotter and she could feel how her arm started hurting.

“Don’t you dare and see that woman ever again, do you hear me?”, he glanced at her.

“Yes,….”, Maura whispered.

He grabbed her even harder. “What did you say?”

“I said yes,….”, Maura closed her eyes.

She knew that he wasn’t going to stop hurting her. She knew that he would continue   
hurting her that night. Every time he was like this, sex was awful. He didn’t care about  
her feelings at all, he just wanted to possess her and he wanted to show her how strong  
he was and how weak she had become.

It was 11 o’clock at Jane was sitting in her car waiting for Maura.   
She knew that Maura wasn’t one to be late, so she started to worry.  
She even called her ma to ask if Maura’s car was still there, but she didn’t  
pick up her phone.  
Jane tried to call Maura but she was afraid that Ian would notice and that he  
wouldn’t allow her friend to get out of the house.   
It took Maura almost 30 minutes to get out of her car. Ian had never hurt her   
like that before and she was too afraid to see Jane. She didn’t want Jane to see her like that.

She picked up her phone and started typing. She wanted to tell Jane that she wasn’t   
going to make it and that she was sorry, but she couldn’t. Maura wanted to see Jane  
more than anything.   
Jane wasn’t going to see her bruises, they weren’t going to be naked, so she could   
get into Jane’s car, couldn’t she?

“I’m sorry I’m late… I didn’t mean to make you wait.”, Maura said while opening the door.  
“Jesus, Maur. You’ve scared the hell out of me. Can’t you just knock first?”, Jane joked.  
“Can we just leave Jane? Please?”, Maura sighed.  
“Sure. Are you alright?”, Jane knew that something was wrong. She hadn’t seen her friend like that before.  
“I … I don’t want to talk about it, just start the engine and let’s go.”  
“Alright.”, Jane said, slowly touching her friend’s arm.

Maura had to be strong, she couldn’t let Jane know that her touch had hurt her.   
Instinctively , Jane had touched the spot where Ian had hurt her the night before. 

This weekend was going to be hard, Maura thought to herself.


	4. Chapter 4

“Are you going to be that silent the entire weekend? If you didn’t  
want to go, we could go back, you just have to tell me.”, Jane said.  
“I’m sorry Jane. I .. no, I’m not going to be like that, I … I am just tired.”,   
Maura sighed.  
“Maur… what’s wrong with you? I’ve never seen you like that before and to  
be honest that scares the hell out of me…..”, Jane tried to concentrate on  
driving, but she had to look at her friend.  
“I .. can we not talk about it in the car. Can we just go there and talk later.   
Can I close my eyes until we’re there, Jane?”  
“Sure…..” Something was very wrong there and Jane knew it, but she   
couldn’t tell what it was and had she known at that moment, she would have  
turned the car straightaway.

It didn’t take Maura long to fall asleep. She was exhausted but for the first  
time in months she felt safe. Knowing that Jane was right next to her helped a lot.   
She was just afraid what was going to happen if her friend was going to find out  
about Ian and how he was treating her.  
Maybe she wouldn’t find out. They need not be naked or change their clothes next   
to each other, so Jane will never know.

“Maur,….”, Jane whispered, slowly touching her friends hand. “We’re here.”  
She suddenly startled up.  
“Oh boy, what was that?”, Jane asked.  
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting this. We’re here you’ve said? Then, let’s get to the room.”

This was not going to work for her, that she knew. She had never seen Maura acting like that.   
Maura had always been a bit weird, but in a very loving way, but now she was different.   
She didn’t look at Jane, she didn’t want to make contact and every time Jane came closer  
she stepped back. 

“The room is beautiful Jane and the view is amazing.”, Maura said, looking out of the window.  
Jane didn’t hear the words coming out of her friend’s mouth, she just stared at her.   
“Jane? Did you hear me?”  
“What? No, I’m sorry. Listen Maur, this is not going to work. I know I’ve messed up   
and you have every right to be pissed, but I can’t do this….”  
“What do you mean, you can’t do this?”, Maura’s heart started beating faster.

Jane wasn’t sure whether she should tell her friend what she really wanted to say   
or if she should keep it to herself. She was walking around the room, making her   
nervous friend even more nervous.

“Jane, would you please stop walking around like that, you’re driving me crazy!”, Maura said.  
“I am driving you crazy? Well, that’s funny.”  
“Look, I don’t know what you are up to, but if we are going to fight the entire weekend,  
I want to go back now….”, Maura closed her eyes.  
“No, I’m …gosh, Maur.”, Jane moved closer to her friend, trying to hold her hands, but   
she refused.  
“What’s with that? Why am I not allowed to touch you anymore Maur?”, Jane said.  
“What are you talking about Jane? Why are you making this so hard for me?”, Maura turned away.  
“I am making it hard for you? Oh, you gotta be kidding me!”

Jane was angry, she really was. She knew that things weren’t the way she wanted them to be,   
she knew that leaving for Quantico had changed their friendship but she wanted to work on it,   
she wanted to show and tell Maura how much she meant to her, but right now, this wasn’t possible.

“I need to go to the bathroom, excuse me.”, Maura said and quickly went in there and closed the   
door behind her.  
Her stomach hurt like hell and she couldn’t help herself but throw up. Her entire body was shaking,  
hot and cold shivers ran up and down her spine. 

Jane heard the noise coming from the bathroom but she knew that now wasn’t the right time to   
ask if her friend was alright. Because she knew she wasn’t.  
Instead, she picked up her phone and started typing.

“Hey ma, it’s not working. Maur’s been acting weird and I think that something’s very wrong here   
but I am afraid I can’t figure it out. We’ll be coming back soon I guess.   
Can I stay at your place before I go back? Jane”

It didn’t take Angela long to answer, but the answer wasn’t one that Jane was expecting.

“Janie, I’m afraid you have to stay. Talk to her, she needs you, trust me! He’s been treating   
her like shit and I think that this might be the reason for her behavior. Be there for her,   
even if she tries to push you away. Love you both!”

“Maur? Are you alright? Can I come in?”, she asked.  
“No Jane, you can’t. I think I ate something bad and it just ….”  
“Made its way back up… yeah, I’ve heard that.”

Maura had to smile, although she felt like as if she had been hit by a truck.

“Give me a few minutes, I’ll be out there…”

Jane was sitting at the couch near the window, looking out of it.   
Boston had been her home for most of her life, why was it so hard to be back,   
she asked herself. Going to Quantico wasn’t her best decision, that she knew,   
but she had to, otherwise she’d gone mad. Being attracted to your best friend doesn’t help,  
she told herself, without noticing that Maura was standing right behind her.

“What did you just say?”, Maura asked.  
“Oh, that… I was just talking to myself…. Are you feeling better?”, she lied.  
“Jane …don’t lie to me, not again, please….”, Maura said while sitting down next to her.  
“What do you mean by again? When have I lied to you?”  
“Why didn’t you call? And I mean the truth, not the truth you tell everyone….”  
“I’m afraid that this wasn’t a lie Maur. I had to work, I had to accept this job, otherwise  
they’d fire me and this is not how I wanted it to end.”  
“Jane….”, Maura sighed.  
“I know you’re not going to believe me and I probably can’t convince you to do so, but  
it is the truth. Do you really think I would give up on you so easily? Maur, you’re my best friend….”,   
she looked at her friend’s hand, not sure whether it was okay for her to touch it.  
“Am I?”, Maura closed her eyes.  
“Of course you are… I know that the past months were hell, at least for me, I wished I could have  
called, but I couldn’t. It would have been too dangerous.”  
“I wanted to visit you Jane…”  
“What?”  
“Well, after a month or so, I even booked a flight and I was actually heading out…”  
“Why didn’t you come? I’d love that.”  
“I don’t know Jane … I ….”

“Maur, we need to stop acting like we’re twelve years old. You can tell me everything,   
you know that!! Why didn’t you come?”  
“Because… I was afraid.”  
“Afraid? Of what? Me?”  
“Oh, no not of you … of me… doing something I might regret sooner or later.”  
“Maur, we’ve known each other for more than ten years now and even after all this   
time you sometimes say things I do not get at all.” , Jane smiled.  
“The night before you left, when ….”  
“Yes?”, Jane looked into her friend’s eyes.  
“It scared me.”, Maura said.  
“What Maur? Me leaving or …”  
“Maybe yes, …but I thought that … there was a moment when I thought that…”, Maura   
felt a tear running down her cheek.  
“Oh no, Maur … what’s that… don’t cry. There’s nothing to worry about, trust me.   
Come here”, she tried to hug her friend, but again she refused.

Maura couldn’t tell when exactly it happened for the first time. Ian had not been like that before.  
They had been an item every once in a while, but this was a completely new behavior and  
Maura was too heartbroken to do anything against it. She was still blaming herself for letting   
Jane go, although she knew that nothing could have stopped her from leaving.   
Maura had really wanted to kiss her that night, but she knew that this wasn’t going to change anything.  
The day Ian appeared was as boring as the others, but she had let him in immediately.   
It was something she knew, she felt some sort of comfort in him. It didn’t take long until their first fight.   
He just said a lot of very mean things, he insulted Jane and her family and he wanted   
Angela to move out as soon as possible.   
The first few times they were having sex Maura didn’t feel much at all. It wasn’t horrible,  
nor was it anything special. But after a while he started being rough in bed too.   
Not, that he had done anything to hurt her there, but she didn’t want him that close anymore.  
The first time he had hit her came out of the blue. He was smart enough to not hit her in a place   
where others could see it. It was mostly her back, her arms and her legs.  
But nevertheless, Maura felt used. She had been working with Jane for so long now and they had   
a lot of women who suffered from violence and now that Maura was in the same situation she   
couldn’t do anything about it.

“Maur… what’s wrong with you? Every time I come close you shrug.   
What did I do wrong here, tell me!”  
“It’s … it’s not you Jane. It’s me, I can’t let you touch me or even come close to me.”  
“But why???”, Jane felt her heart beating faster.  
“Because I can’t…. you just have to accept that Jane. It’s just not possible.”,   
tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Stop it Maur! You are going to tell me what the fuck is wrong with you or I am   
going through that door and you won’t be seeing me again! NOW!”

Maura’s entire body shivered, she broke down. Jane tried to catch her friend,  
but she couldn’t.  
There she was, the smartest and most beautiful woman on earth, shivering and   
crying heavily and Jane didn’t know what to do.

“Maur… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude… I just .. I’m worried about you and I love you Maur…”,   
she brushed away the strain of hair that had fallen into her face.  
Maura didn’t say anything, she wanted to, but she couldn’t.  
Instead she leaned towards Jane and let her pull her in for a tight hug.

“Shhh, it’s going to be alright Maur, trust me… it’s going to be alright.”,   
Jane whispered while holding her friend.

They’d been sitting there for a quite a while before Maura was finally able to say   
something. She wasn’t sure where this conversation was going  
to lead them and she was afraid. Losing her friend forever was the  
worst thing she could imagine and Maura wasn’t sure if Jane was   
going to stay with her after all.

“Jane?”, Maura whispered.  
“Oh, there you are. Speaking to me”, she smiled.  
“Don’t make me laugh. I don’t deserve it.”  
“What are you talking about? You deserve so much more than that!  
You’re amazing Maur and to be honest, I don’t think that Ian is telling you that.  
I know that this is none of my business, but I don’t think that he deserves you   
Maur. You can do better than him!”

“Could I?”, Maura looked at her friend with some sort of desire and despair.  
“Yes, absolutely. You just need the right person. You should be spoiled 24/7 Maur.   
There are so many things about you that are absolutely lovable and …”  
“Would you?”, Maura asked.  
“Would I what?”, Jane’s stomach started making noises and she could feel how   
her entire body was heating up.  
“Would you spoil me Jane?”  
“Hell, yes… but…”  
“But?”, Maura sighed.  
“Maur ….. usually you’re the one who’s not good with feelings and words,  
but I don’t know what to say now… I don’t want to lose you, is all.”, Jane   
slowly moved her thumb along Maura’s hand.   
“What do you want to say Jane. If you could, without any consequences…”

“I… can I show you instead of saying something?”  
Maura nodded.


	5. Chapter 5

Maura wasn’t quite sure what to expect. What was Jane going to show her?   
Was she finally going to kiss her and admitting her feelings? There was a certain   
kind of tension between them, both women could feel it.  
Jane moved closer to her friend and looked into her eyes.

“Maur,…”, she whispered. 

Before their lips could finally meet, Jane pulled out her wallet.  
That was not what Maura had expected.

“What are you doing Jane?”  
“Shh,… just look at this.”, Jane was holding a picture in her hand.  
“Why are you showing me this picture Jane?”

“Because this is why I came back… this is what’s important to me…”  
“But that’s a picture of us…”  
“Exactly… Maur’, I’m not good with this, I don’t know how to do that but I love you,  
more than I could ever tell and I don’t want to be away from you any longer.   
I know, you have Ian and I can’t blame you for that, I mean,… look at you, of course   
you’re going to find someone…”  
“Jane, it’s not…”

But before Maura could finish the sentence, Jane moved closer and finally kissed her.   
It was a soft kiss, not too short and not too long. 

When Jane moved away a bit, she saw tears in Maura’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Maur… I shouldn’t have done that… I … I’m sorry”, she closed her eyes and got up.

“No, Jane… it’s not… it’s not because of the kiss,…”  
“What is it then Maur? You’ve been acting weird and I thought that if we spent some time together,   
we could talk and stuff… but obviously you’re not ready for that, I get that now…   
I’m going for a walk,…”, she grabbed her jacket.

“No, Jane. Wait!”  
“Maur, this is not going to work. You can’t say yes to this weekend and then shut me  
off completely. How am I supposed to deal with that?”  
“Sit with me Jane, let me try to explain …”  
“Fine,… but don’t play silent again.”

Jane didn’t sit where she was a few minutes ago, she left some space between them.   
This was not how Maura used to be. She knew that something must have happened  
between Ian and her, but she couldn’t manage to figure out, what it was.

“Jane, you have to promise me one thing now and I mean it!”  
“What?”  
“You are only going to listen. You’re not storming out of that door! You’re not going  
to call anyone! You’re not going to pity me!”   
“Alright… I’ll do my best.”  
“No Jane, I mean it. You don’t get to say or do anything unless I tell you…”  
“Ok, ok…so, tell me…”

Maura took a deep breath, she didn’t really know how or where to start.  
She started with telling Jane how much she had missed her in the beginning and how  
much she wanted to kiss her the night she had to leave and how much she hated her  
for pushing Jane away.  
That was the first moment Jane wanted to say something, but she knew, she wasn’t  
allowed to and it was really hard for her to stay quiet.  
Maura continued talking and Jane could see how much pain this entire story was causing her.   
She just wanted to hold her, caress her and tell her that everything was going to be alright,   
but she couldn’t. At least not now.   
Maura told Jane about the day Ian came back and she could see how much Jane was  
suffering, she had never really liked him and Maura had always tried the two of them   
to get to like each other, but it didn’t work at all.

“I know that this sounds stupid and I know that I am absolutely capable of living on my own,  
I have been for so many years, but I felt lonely and I know that I shouldn’t be saying that,   
but I needed someone close to me. I wanted that to be you Jane.   
The day you told me you were going to leave for Quantico… I was so happy for you  
and I knew that it was going to be hard but when the day of your farewell party finally arrived,   
I was scared… I knew that I was going to lose you. I knew that you weren’t going to be here  
for a long time and I hated that idea and I hated myself for feeling that way. It was not up   
to me to say something or to tell you not to go because that was your biggest wish.   
You were so happy when you told me about your new job. Then I threw you that lousy  
and lame party and I … my heart broke that night Jane. I know, I’m so sorry for telling you  
right now, but I … I wanted you to stay.”

Jane swallowed. She knew that she wasn’t allowed to say something, because she had   
promised not to until Maura had finished. She decided on moving closer to her friend.

“When we were alone and I was stupid enough to think that if I’d kissed you, you were   
going to stay. But then, you ran away Jane. You left. I was so sad and heart broken,   
because I told myself that I was the reason for that. I somehow knew that I wasn’t,   
but that didn’t help. Yes, we had our calls and texts, but I couldn’t smell you, or feel you.”,  
Maura fought against the tears in her eyes.

Jane grabbed her hand and moved her thumb slowly up and down.

“Then one day, you hadn’t called for some time, Ian showed up. I know, you don’t like   
him, you never liked him, that’s for sure, but he was there and I am not blaming you for  
not calling, I know you had your reasons and I know that we didn’t talk about “us” or  
anything, because there was no “us”, but …”, Maura sighed.

“I have had some feelings for you Jane ,… for quite a while now and I know that I didn’t talk   
about them at all, I was too scared of losing you and when I decided on kissing you,   
I knew that I had been right. You ran away Jane, you just left. Ian was there, he is there….”,   
tears started running down Maura’s face.

“I don’t know how it is going to be in the future Jane, I don’t know what I should think   
about that kiss, or if it means anything at all, I just don’t know what to do.. this is not who   
I am Jane. I’m not a fragile person, I don’t pity myself, but I’ve been doing that for the last  
months. I’m not blaming you, I just can’t handle that. You can’t just leave and show up   
after months and think that everything’s just the way it used to be, this is not going to work Jane.”, Maura looked at her.

Jane closed her eyes. She wasn’t sure how to react, or if she was allowed to say something right now.

“Can you just say something?”, Maura hissed.  
“Well, I’m sorry, but you made me promise to keep my mouth shut, so don’t yell at me for doing so.”  
“I’m sorry…. Can you please say something Jane?”, Maura said.

What the hell was she going to say now? How was she going to react? Was she going all in,   
or was she just trying to calm the situation?

Jane thought about the night she had to leave. She could feel that tension too and boy, she  
had wanted that kiss too, but she knew that it was not a good idea.

“Maur… I know, that what I am going to say now is not what you are expecting me to say,   
but promise, you’re going to listen to me …”  
“I promise…”, Maura sighed.

“First of all, I want to thank you for throwing me that farewell party. It wasn’t lousy or lame.  
And then, about the kiss… you are so wrong Maur. How on earth can you be so smart and   
so silly at the same time? I wanted to kiss you so badly that night, Maur. I really did. But I   
knew that if we were going to kiss, we would have gone further than that too and I didn’t want that.”  
“So, you didn’t want that? Well, good to know…”  
“Hey, quiet now. You promised and I wasn’t ready yet…”  
“I didn’t want to have sex with you that night, because I knew that I was going to leave the  
next day and I knew that if we had crossed that line, we weren’t going to be able to have   
sex any time soon and why would I want that? Maur, I’ve been in love with you for so long   
but I couldn’t tell you. I didn’t know how and when and I thought that you didn’t feel the same.  
I think, I just realized that night and I got scared, that’s why I ran, not because I didn’t want to  
kiss you. I want that, more than anything…”, she smiled at her friend.

“And then, about the job… That’s why I couldn’t call. It’s not that I didn’t want to call you anymore.  
I had a job to do and I had to work undercover for months and you know that Maur, I wasn’t able to   
call and the moment I got back from that job I got into my car and drove back home. I don’t know  
what I was thinking, I didn’t know how you would react and when you opened the door, I was just   
blown away. You looked amazing Maur. I just wanted to grab you and kiss you … but then I heard   
him and I … that hurt Maur… I don’t blame you either, because we weren’t an item, we were just friends…  
But Maur, … I know that I don’t really get to say that, but he’s not good for you!! I don’t know what he’s   
been doing to you, but all I know is that I don’t like that…”

Maura’s heart was racing. Did Jane just tell her that she had been in love with her?  
Did she just admit, that she was having feelings and that she wanted to kiss her?   
This was getting harder every second. Maura knew that she couldn’t let Jane see her   
body, because of the bruises and she knew that Jane was going to run out of the hotel   
and that she was going to arrest him. But she didn’t want her to do that.  
What if she was going to leave her again? What if she was going to be alone for the rest   
of her life, because Jane had found someone better? No, she couldn’t risk that.

“Maur? Did you hear me? I … I love you…”, she moved closer.  
“Yeah, I’ve heard that Jane, but it’s hard to believe…”, she sighed.  
“I just don’t get that Maur. You say all these things and the moment I get the chance to   
say how I feel, you doubt my words?! What has he done to you?”  
“It has nothing to do with him, Jane. Maybe you do not know me that well at all…”  
“Oh, yes… tell me that. Listen Maur, I think we should get back tomorrow morning, this was a bad idea.”  
“Jane,…” Maura sighed.

Again, this hadn’t been how Maura wanted it to be. She wanted to hold Jane, kiss her, smell   
and taste her, but she couldn’t let her see the bruises. 

“Jane,…stop packing… I’m sorry, please… listen to me.. there’s something else…”

“What? Maur, listen … I’m tired of this. We try to open up to each other and every time I say s  
omething you push me away. How am I supposed to react ?? Just let you hurt me? No, this is  
not how I want to be treated, not even by you Maur.”

“I … Jane, … I need you..”, Maura started crying heavily. Her entire body was shaking.  
“Hey,… no. You don’t get to do that. You’re not going to cry now and you’re not going to try  
and use those tears against me. Tell me what the hell is wrong with you!”, Jane almost yelled.

It was now or never, Maura thought. Sooner or later, Jane was going to find out…

“Jane… I can’t tell you …”  
“Well, then I’ll check with the reception, if they have another room for me…”  
“NO! What I meant is that I can’t talk about it, because I’m ashamed Jane… I know how you’re  
going to react and I am ashamed of it,… of myself….”  
“For what Maur ? Did you get a tattoo of Ian?”  
“No … I … sit Jane,… don’t say or do anything. I’ll show you and the only thing you get to do  
is hold me….”  
“Alright…”

The two women sat next to each other. Jane wasn’t expecting this at all.   
She didn’t really know what she thought Maura was going to show her, but that was not   
what she was about to see.

Maura moved closer to Jane and opened her blouse. 

Jane just stared at her friend. She wasn’t expecting to see this.   
Well, she wanted to see Maura naked, but she wasn’t looking at her skin, or her breasts.  
All she could see where those dark blue bruises and she knew why Maura was having them.  
Jane didn’t really react much. She had promised and due to the fact that she had been  
working with a lot of people who were suffering from domestic violence, she knew   
that saying things could ruin everything.

She moved closer to Maura and closed her blouse again. She kissed her cheek and held her tight.  
Jane was not going to let Maura go ever again. She wasn’t going to let him hurt her again.

Maura’s cheeks were soaking wet, because of the tears that were running down her them.  
Her heart was racing, but for the first time in months, she felt safe again.


	6. Chapter 6

Jane liked being in Quantico. Well, that’s at least what she was telling herself.  
It had been a while now and she really liked working for the FBI, but it wasn’t fulfilling.   
She wanted to ask Maura if she would come for a visit, but what were they going to do?   
Yes, she could have shown her around, but there was something else she wanted to do with  
her, but she knew that this wasn’t going to happen. The night before she had to leave,   
Jane realized that being that close to Maura was what she wanted.   
She wanted to kiss her so badly, but she thought that her friend was going to push her away.  
Jane felt insecure, more than ever before and it was all because of her feelings for her friend.  
How on earth was she going to tell her how she felt, she asked herself.  
Jane had never been good when it came to showing her feelings. When she was with   
Casey he had told her that he was in love with her several times, but she couldn’t   
say those words to him. Yes, she liked him, but she couldn’t lie, because love was   
not what she had felt for him.

Now being that close to Maura Jane got scared. She didn’t want to mess things up,  
because Maura was the best person she had ever met. She was everything she wanted   
and Maura knew exactly how to treat Jane and what she liked and disliked, Maura was  
her person.  
But now, she was holding her person close, knowing that someone else had been hurting  
her badly. She couldn’t understand why Maura had let that happen. From working with   
people who suffered from domestic violence, Jane knew that you one couldn’t simply   
leave and that those relationships were always difficult, but she had never seen Maura   
being in one of them.

Jane was slowly caressing Maura’s back when she opened her eyes.  
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up…”, Jane said with a smile.  
“Well, yes you did, but it’s ok… I didn’t actually plan on falling asleep, it just happened  
and you being here was just too good to be true.”, Maura tried to smile.  
“So, … what do you want to do now? Shall we go back? Or do you want to stay until Sunday?”  
“I knew you were going to ask that question sooner or later… if you want to stay, I’d be gladly   
staying here with you, but if you want to go back, we could…”, Maura sighed.  
“Maur,… I want to spend some time with you and I think that you need some   
time away from home, away from ….”  
“Him”, Maura closed her eyes.  
“How… I mean, … do you still want to be with him?”  
“I don’t know…”

Jane hadn’t expected that. There was a certain kind of pain in her stomach.  
Maura wasn’t sure whether she wanted to stay with this idiot?! How on earth?!   
She thought that she had made herself clear and that she wanted to be with Maura,   
but obviously Maura wasn’t feeling the same.

“I mean… I don’t want to be with him but I don’t know how to get away from him.   
Listen, Jane. This isn’t easy. I’ve never thought of myself being one of these women.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I know that I’m not the strongest person, but I always knew what I wanted and I’ve   
been with Ian before and he had never ever touched me like that. But now,   
he’s different and I… I am scared Jane. This isn’t me, I’ve never been like that.   
Not since I’ve known you…”, she sighed.  
“I know babe… we’re going to find a way, trust me. We’ll get you out of it! Is there   
anything you can use against him?! Maybe Interpol is still running after him?!”  
“I don’t know… it’s almost impossible to get some information from him. I’m scared Jane…  
I really am. He’ll find out that we’ve been together and he’s going to use that information  
against me and that is going to make it even harder to get away from him.”  
“I’ll do my very best Maur, I’m going to find a way to get rid of him!”  
“Wait… what?”  
“Oh no, I mean not like that…”, Jane smiled.  
“Jane?”  
“Yes?”  
“Can I ask you something?”  
“Anything babe…”  
“Babe?”  
“Sorry,….”  
“No, I like it”, Maura smiled.  
“So, what’s the question then …”

“Do you really think this is going to work? I mean, us… being together…”  
“Well, to be honest. I don’t think anything is going to change between us. We’ve  
practically done everything couples do, except… you know… Do you have doubts?”  
“I’m not sure. I don’t want to lose you Jane and I don’t know if you’re going to run  
away again.”  
“Hey,… I’m here, right?! And I’ve just told you how I feel and I think that counts.  
I’m not running away Maur.”  
“Promise?”  
“Yes!”, Jane placed her hand onto Maura’s cheek.  
“I like that…. I mean, you, touching me…”  
“Me too Maur, …me too.” 

Jane slowly leaned forward and kissed her. It was a short but passionate kiss. Maura  
could melt just within seconds, but she had to tell herself to keep breathing and to   
concentrate on the next steps. She didn’t want to be too pushy, but gosh, she wanted   
Jane to be close to her so badly.

“Jane?”, Maura broke the kiss.  
“Yes?”  
“You have to promise me one more thing.”  
“Ok…that sounds serious.”  
“If … and I’m just saying “if” you get the chance of seeing me naked any time soon,   
you are not going to freak out!”  
“Oh, trust me, I’m going to freak out big time, seeing you naked for the first time.”, Jane laughed.  
“No, I mean … you’re going to see things you don’t want to see…”  
“Is it really that bad?”, Jane sighed.  
“I don’t know… I haven’t had a look at them for a while…”  
“Oh Maur,… I can’t promise you that I won’t be angry and pissed, but that’s not   
because of you, it’s because of him. But I’ll promise, we’re not going to do anything   
that you don’t want to do. Take your time…”  
“Well, that’s the point Jane. I don’t know when we’ll be able to see each other again….  
I mean you have to go back sooner or later and I don’t know if I can come visit any time  
soon… I want you Jane…”

Jane swallowed. And again, the woman she had known for so long, had surprised her.   
She wasn’t expecting that at all. Jane knew that Maura was more confident about her   
sexuality and her needs, but she hadn’t expected to have sex with her this weekend.  
She was hoping for a few kisses and a bit of making out, but now she was nervous as hell.

“Jane? Are you there?”, Maura asked.  
“Well, yes… I guess I am … I was just …”  
“Sorry, if I said something wrong, we don’t have to do anything Jane.. I just thought…”  
“No, Maur… it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I don’t know “how” to do it.”, Jane   
closed her eyes.  
“Well, there’s no instruction. We just do what we like and then we’ll find out if it’s ok for   
the other one too… there’s no need to worry Jane…”  
“Yeah, no need to worry ….”, Jane got up and looked out of the window. 

“Jane… this is not going to work. Every time I take a step closer to you, you walk away from me.”  
“No, I’m not walking away Maur. I’m just thinking. This isn’t easy for me. I’ve been   
in love with you for so long, I never thought that this feeling was ever going away   
and every time we met someone I thought I was going to lose you. I came back thinking   
you were waiting for me and then I find out that the guy who’s with you is a complete jerk   
and that he’s been hurting you and I hate myself for that. I want to kiss you so badly and  
I want to feel you so badly Maur, but I don’t know if I can. I don’t know how to do it and   
where to touch you or not. I don’t know how my brain is going to react when I’ll see the   
marks on your body. I love you Maur, I really do, but I want this to be perfect, not because  
we feel like we have to do that this weekend.”

“Do you really think it’s like that? That we would just sleep with each other because we   
“have to”? I don’t think that there’s an instruction and I don’t think we have to, I just   
want to feel you and I don’t know if it’s the best time or place, I don’t know if there is   
such thing. But if we want to take a further step, we have to start at some point.”

“How can you be like that?”  
“Be like what?”  
“Well, I know you’re hurt,… I know I’ve been hurting you too, but you always have the  
right words and you always look that damn sexy…”, Jane smiled.  
“We’ve been hurting each other Jane but I want to make it up to you”, Maura said with  
a dirty smile on her lips.  
“Oh, really? You really think that I’ll let you seduce me just like this?”

Maura got up from the couch and looked at Jane. She slowly opened her blouse and   
Jane could see her black bra. She had to swallow hard, this was really going to happen,   
she told herself. Jane could already feel the arousal and she definitely wanted to see what’s   
underneath the cotton Maura was wearing.

While the two women were smiling at each other, none of them heard Maura’s phone ringing.  
A message popped up on her display.

“Where the hell are you? I’ve been calling you for hours! You’ve lied to me!   
There’s no such thing as work! You’re there with her, right?! I’m going to find you  
and you know that this isn’t going to be pretty!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while...
> 
> School's keeping me busy. Testing kids, teaching one group at school, the other at home.  
> That freaking virus is really annoying, but who am I telling that to. You all know how annoying this is.
> 
> I'm not really sure about the story either.  
> I do have some ideas, but I don't know if writing is what I should be doing...  
> I'll finish this story, but I guess that's it then....
> 
> Thanks for all your likes and comments. I really appreciate all of them!  
> C.

Ian was sure that something was terribly wrong.  
He had a very strange feeling about that weekend but he knew that if he had asked  
Maura she would have lied, although everyone knew that this was one of the things  
that she wasn’t good at.  
Ian always disliked Jane. From the first time they’d met to the present day.  
She had always been between them.  
Now that he was back and she was gone, well, at least that’s what he thought,  
he wanted to stay with Maura. He wasn’t sure whether it was love that he felt for  
her, but he knew that she couldn’t resist him.  
The day he came back and knocked at her door Maura looked awesome.  
She definitely wasn’t expecting him and the sex, oh boy, the sex was really good.  
After a while Maura wasn’t behaving how he wanted her to. She was different.  
Didn’t talk much and she came home late. At first he didn’t want to control her,  
but he had to. Something was very wrong and he had to make sure that she was still his.  
He didn’t tell her why he came back and he didn’t tell her that Interpol was still chasing him.  
He hadn’t told her the first time and when Jane did, he really wanted to,.. well, he wanted to  
get rid of her. But how?! He couldn’t just tell Maura that Jane was gone for good, she wouldn’t  
believe such a story. He couldn’t tell someone else to get rid of her, that would make him  
suspicious too. Ian was happy that Jane had accepted the job in Quantico and he was pretty  
sure that she wasn’t coming back.  
But boy, was he wrong…

“Maur,… are you really sure?”, Jane smiled.  
“I am … but, remember, you’ve promised!”  
“I know… but I don’t think that I can just not see them ….”  
“Fair enough… Come here Jane…”, Maura held her hand towards Jane.  
“You know… I’ve been wanting to do this for so long….”  
“Really? But why…”  
“Let’s not talk about him, ok? Can we just … this is about us Jane…”

Jane knew that Maura had always been the more confident one and Jane was scared as hell.  
Not that she didn’t like what she was seeing, quite the contrary. Maura’s body was amazing.  
Her breasts, her butt, her curves… she just loved everything about her.  
But Jane didn’t know what to do. She had been with a woman once, but it wasn’t really worth  
mentioning. They had kissed for a few times, touched each other, but nothing more than that.  
Jane wanted it to be perfect and she was so scared of messing up.

“Jane?”  
“Yeah, sorry…”  
“Are you alright?”  
“Yeah,… just nervous… I guess.”  
“Well, I can help, if you want to…”, Maura pulled Jane closer and their lips touched.

It didn’t take long and Jane was completely blown away by Maura being the best kisser ever.  
Her tongue slowly made its way into Jane’s mouth and she started moaning a bit.

“Jane,… I want you … like, really, really want you…”, Maura whispered into her ear.  
“Well, … then come and get me”, she smiled.

It didn’t take long and they were lying on the master bed. Jane was caressing Maura’s  
back and she slowly moved her hand to Maura’s stomach. Her friend was smiling,  
enjoying Jane’s touches. 

Maura had thought about how it would be to touch her friend like that, to kiss her and  
to be that close to her. But right now she was feeling so much, because she hadn’t  
expected that to happen at all. Of course she wanted to and she was sure about her  
feelings but when it came to showing her feelings, Jane wasn’t the best.  
Maura knew that Jane cared a lot about her and she could feel how hurt she was every  
time Maura told her about a date she was going to. First she thought it was because Jane  
was alone but after a while she started hoping, that it was because of her feelings.  
She could have gone all in but Maura didn’t want to lose Jane. She was her person,  
that she knew for sure.  
When Ian came back, Maura was alone. There had always been a strange bond between  
this man and her, a bond Maura couldn’t really name and she couldn’t resist him.  
She had been in love with him, but that was long ago.  
She hated herself for getting back together with him, but she thought that Jane had left her.  
All these thoughts were running through her mind, while Jane was lying next to her.

“Are you alright?”, Jane asked.  
“Yeah, just thinking…”  
“Do you think that now is the best time to do some Wikipedia stuff?”, Jane smiled.  
“I wasn’t thinking about things like that… I was thinking about you….”  
“Really? But I am here…. What were you thinking about?”  
“I am sorry I’ve hurt you Jane. I’m sorry I kept on telling you about all the dates  
and all the men. I thought you were jealous because you were alone,  
but that wasn’t true, right?”  
“Well,… I guess I somehow was. But not because you went on a date,  
I was jealous of all the guys you’ve been with, because they had the chance  
to spend some time with you and I really wanted to be them. I couldn’t really  
talk about it, I mean I haven’t told anyone, Ma knows,…but that’s just because  
she’s such a nosy person. I wasn’t sure what kind of feelings I was having, until I left Boston.”  
“Are you really coming back?”  
“That’s the plan, yes. There’s only one job that needs to be done and then I want  
to come back home…”, Jane kissed Maura.  
“Sounds good to me.”, Maura whispered.

“Can we just not talk that much? I mean, I like listening to you, but there are other  
things I’d like to do right now…”, Jane smirked.  
“Really? Is that so? Show me…”

Jane moved closer and started kissing Maura’s stomach. She could feel how  
sensitive her skin was and she could sense how much her friend was enjoying being  
kissed like that. Jane was really insecure, she had never done that before and she had  
never had such feelings for anyone else.  
Kissing Maura’s body made her body shiver and she could feel how fast her heart was beating.  
Maura opened her blouse entirely, so Jane could see Maura’s sexy bra and she really  
wanted to get rid of it.  
She moved her lips to her breasts and started kissing them slowly.  
Every once in a while she looked into Maura’s eyes,  
to make sure that what she was doing was ok.  
Maura sat up and the blouse slid over her shoulders.  
Jane couldn’t help but stare when Maura opened her bra.  
Maura’s breasts were full and beautiful.  
Jane moved closer and started kissing them. Her tongue circled Maura’s  
nipples and when Maura started to moan Jane knew that she was doing the right thing.  
Her hand was resting on Maura’s stomach and she was still having some fun with Maura’s nipples.

“Jane…”, Maura whispered.  
“Yeah babe…?”, Jane wasn’t sure whether Maura wanted her to stop or  
why she had just said her name.  
“Touch me…”

It took Jane a while until she realized what Maura really wanted but when  
her fingers made their way to Maura’s skirt, her friend spread her legs.  
She let her fingers wander under her skirt.

“Oh my… you’re so wet”, Jane whispered.

Maura pulled her in for a passionate kiss. “That’s all because of you Jane…”

Jane swallowed. She hadn’t expected that. Her fingers touched Maura’s wet  
spot and she really enjoyed it. 

“Touch me Jane….”, Maura moaned.

Jane’s finger slowly wandered underneath Maura’s string and she could feel  
how swollen her clit already was. She moved her fingers in circles and slowly  
pressed her thumb against Maura’s clit. 

“We need to get rid of all this fabric…”, Jane said.

Maura got up and Jane was completely stunned. There she was, the love of her love,  
entirely naked and ready to have sex with her. 

“Jane? Are you alright?”

“Yes,… I’m just… you’re so beautiful and sexy Maur… come here…”

Jane was working hard not to look at those bruises, she was afraid that she was going  
to touch Maura at one or the other spot, but she told herself to be careful.

“You are wearing way too much clothes yourself…”, Maura smiled.

“Right….we don’t need them..”, Jane said while getting undressed.

And now they were lying naked in bed, slowly touching each other. 

“You are the most beautiful person I know Jane… I love you so much…”  
“I love you too Maur…. I really do. I’m so sorry it took me so long…”  
“Better late than never….”, Maura said while pulling Jane closer.

Their lips met and Maura’s tongue asked for entrance. Jane’s hand moved back  
to Maura’s clit and she started circling it again. Her thumb pressing against  
Maura’s clit and she could hear the sound her fingers were making.

“Oh, you turn me on…. You have no idea honey…”

“I haven’t really started yet…”, Jane grinned.

She started kissing her way down. She stopped at Maura’s breasts and sucked at  
her hard nipples. A few kisses on her stomach and then she moved further down  
to her clit.  
Jane looked at Maura, but her friend had already closed her eyes.  
Her tongue slowly touched Maura’s clit and she started moaning louder.  
Jane had never done that before but it felt so natural.  
She started sucking at Maura’s clit and she could feel her own arousal growing.

“Jane…. Please….”, Maura begged.

While sucking her friend’s clit, Jane’s fingers started fucking Maura.  
Her hips moved faster and Jane knew that Maura wasn’t going to last long. 

Maura’s entire body was shaking when she came into Jane’s mouth.  
She pulled her friend up and onto her back.

“That was…. Amazing honey…”, she said.

Jane couldn’t say anything, she just smiled.  
Maura was now on top of her and she really liked that.  
Maura started kissing Jane’s breasts and after a while her tongue  
was playing with her nipples. Maura was aroused that she started biting Jane’s nipples.

“Babe…I’m not sure how long I’m going to last… you’re so hot…”

Maura’s hand moved to Jane’s wet spot and started playing with her clit.  
Jane spread her legs so that it was easier for Maura to play with it.  
Maura was lying on top of her and she pressed her thigh against Maura’s vagina.  
She started moving her hips a little faster and Jane pressed her body against Maura’s.  
Maura’s breasts were shaking and Jane’s hands held them while Maura was fucking her.

It didn’t take long until Jane came and she couldn’t be quiet at all.  
Both women were breathing heavily while Maura was on top of Jane.

“Babe… if this is how it’s going to be like every time we have sex,…  
I need to work out more…”, she laughed.  
“Oh Jane, I think that we both need to… that was …”  
“Hot…”  
“Absolutely”, Maura smiled.

Little did both women know that Ian was on its way to the hotel.  
He had tracked Maura’s phone and he knew that he was going to find them there.  
He wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he knew that he couldn’t  
let Maura get together with Jane. He didn’t want that and he wanted Maura alone.

Jane and Maura fell asleep shortly after both had, what felt like, the best orgasm ever.  
Jane woke up first and she looked at her phone to check how late it was.  
There were five messages.  
All from Agent Robbins, telling Jane to call her immediately. 

“Damn it”, she said while getting up and into the bathroom.

“I’m sorry Arizona, I didn’t hear it. What’s up?”, Jane asked.  
“Well, I’m sorry to interrupt you on your weekend off, but the job starts sooner  
than expected. You need to come back now.”, Agent Robbins said.  
“I… I can’t. I’m at the hotel with ….”  
“Maura?”  
“Yes… and we’re here until Sunday and I can’t leave her.  
She’s having troubles with a guy and he’s been a real asshole and I just can’t go now…”  
“I’m sorry Jane but I’m afraid that you have no choice! You have to come back NOW!”  
“Alright, … let me just tell her..”  
“No, Jane! Don’t. You know that you’re not allowed to and you can’t risk her life.”  
“I … I know… See you back there.”  
“See you Jane and I’m sorry…”

Damn it! Jane thought. She knew that she couldn’t tell Maura but  
she couldn’t just leave her like that, could she!?  
She was going to write her a message.  
Jane left the bathroom as silent as possible and she took a sheet of  
paper and a pen and started writing.

“Dear Maur,  
I’m so sorry, but I had to leave. I know that this sounds stupid and you’re  
not going to believe me, but I had no choice. It’s not about you,  
I’m not leaving YOU! I want you Maur, more than anything. Remember,  
I’ve told you that there’s one more job to be done and that’s where I am now.  
I’m going to work on that one last thing and then I’ll be back home.  
I’m coming back home babe, I’m coming back to you!  
Please leave him! Call Vince, he can help you!!!  
Tell Ma about it, she’ll be there for you too!  
I love you Maura Isles, more than words could ever say…  
xxx  
Jane”

Jane grabbed her stuff and placed a soft kiss onto Maura’s forehead.  
She walked out of the room as silent as possible.  
She pressed the elevator button and when she went out of it, tears were  
running down her cheek.  
She knew that she wasn’t going to see Maura anytime soon,  
but she hoped, that her friend was waiting for her… again.

Simultaneously Ian walked into the hotel lobby.  
He didn’t see Jane, nor did she see him.  
He went to the reception and asked for his fiancé Dr. Maura Isles.  
The receptionist told him the number of her room and up he went.

There he was, angry as hell, expecting to find the two women in bed together.  
He knocked at the door. There were some footsteps coming towards the door  
and when Maura opened the door, neither of them were expecting to see  
the other person at the door.

“Jane, you’re back…”, Maura said before she could realize that it wasn’t  
Jane who was staring at her.  
“Jane? I knew it”, he said while pushing her back into the room.


End file.
